Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in lil_browneyes' LiveJournal:

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Monday, January 16th, 2006
1:16 am	Respond as comment 1. name: 2. birthday: 3. place of residence: 4. what makes you happy: 5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last: 6. do you read my lj: 7. if you do, what is particularly good about it: 8. an interesting fact about you: 9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment: 10. favourite place to be: 11. favourite lyric: 12. best time of the year: RECOMMEND 1. a film: 2. a book: 3. a band, a song or an album: PLUS 1. one thing you like about me: 2. two things you like about yourself: 3. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 20th, 2005
10:43 pm	Check it out My myspace address is http://www.myspace.com/18664827 (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 24th, 2005
12:58 am	Another update I don't have much time for this thing anymore, since I'm focused on my MySpace. I'll only add that I'm happy that November's almost over. I hope next month things are back to normal, although I still have Christmas to worry about. *smiles and sighs* Oh well. To whoever's reading this, I'll probably be going up to Brick Street for Towny Night this Friday. If you're going, I hope to see you up there! -chris There's a hero If you look inside your heart You don't have to be afraid Of what you are There's an answer If you reach into your soul And the sorrow that you know Will melt away It's a long road When you face the world alone No one reaches out a hand For you to hold You can find love If you search within yourself And the emptiness you felt Will disappear And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you -Mariah Carey (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
1:37 am	The Nightmare Before Christmas I just got done watching "The Nightmare Before Christmas"... I love that movie. I was looking for a nice scary movie to watch, something that would really scare the yell out of me, but I decided to watch this one instead. It's actually more of a Christmas movie I think, and I think its more of a satire. To me, it shows what happens to when people get caught up in the superficial aspects of Christmas and forget the holiday spirit, that the point of the holiday is to be nice and loving to each other, not just fill up stockings and spend money. It's a very clever movie. Okay, that's all I have to say. Current Mood: impressed (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 16th, 2005
9:37 pm	Do you ever think about your parents dying? I just think that would be the saddest thing... I don't know why, but I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Should I spend more time with them? Should I offer to give them more money when they need it, as a sign of affection? It's not easy to tell your family you love them, and even if you did tell them every day that you love them, would that really make coping with their death any easier? Sometimes I wonder if I'm wasting my time, working and over-planning for my future, and that maybe I should just say screw it and spend time with my parents while they're still here. I know when they're gone that I'll regret not making it a priority... -chris D-12: AM I MORBID???? (Shut up Slim, just record it) Warning: this shit's gon be rated R, restricted / You see this bullet hole in my neck? It's self inflicted / Doctor slapped my nurse, "Bitch you got a sick kid" / Arrested, molested myself and got convicted / Wearing visors, sunglasses and disguises, cause my split personality is having an identity crisis / I'm Dr. Hyde and Mr. Jekyll, disrespectful, hearing voices in my head while these whispers echo / "Murder Murder Redrum," brain size of a bread crumb / Which drug will I end up dead from? Inebriated, till my stress is eleviated / "How in the fuck can Eminem and Shady be related?" -Em (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 13th, 2005
1:16 am	The Sweetest Day of the Year Man, I work on Saturday, and it's Sweetest Day. That means it's gonna be crowded. That sucks. :[ And the next day is Boss's Day, which means we'll have two holidays in a row. I think it's funny that Boss's Day is on Sunday. :] Sweetest Day is kinda strange, though, since we already have a Valentine's Day. It's kinda redundant. But it's kinda cool, too. Someday, when I have enough money to buy a car and go to school, I'm gonna get a real girlfriend. Then I'm going to be the coolest boyfriend in the world. None of this "playing games" nonsense. I'm going to be really nice to her and stuff, and be the kind of boyfriend a girl would like to have. It's gonna be cool. Current Mood: good (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 25th, 2005
1:32 am	Does anyone reading this know anything about college scholarships??? Does anyone (even you anonymous people I don't know who read this) know anything about college scholarships? Can I apply for them, even though I'm not in college or high school? I've been out of high school for about four years. I'm not in college, I'm not accepted to any colleges, and I haven't even taken the ACT yet. But can I still apply for them? It doesn't seem right that I could, because how would they know that I was spending the money on school? If I can't apply for them yet, then at what point can I apply for them? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 17th, 2005
12:25 am	Littlepobo's Questions! For those of you who don't know, this is a little chain-letter thing we have going on where you ask someone five questions and they have to answer them truthfully, and in return they ask you five questions and you answer truthfully. So here are Chrissy's questions for me, along with my answers: 1.) Where do you wish to see yourself in 5 years? Answer: Man, I dunno... Hopefully I will have enough money saved to at least start college by then. I hope I have a car by then, too, along with an active social life. (Since this is what I *wish* to see, I guess I would want to open up enough to have a girlfriend I'm in love with, but I doubt that would happen! *smiles and laughs*) 2.) What is one thing you have thought about me but never said to my face? Answer: You're the greatest friend anyone could ask for and I love you so much. 3.) If you could do one thing guilt-free, what would it be? Answer: Write horror fiction. Sometimes I feel guilty when I write it. 4.) What is the worst thing you have ever thought? Answer: Ever thought? Man, believe me when I tell you this, I am guilty of EVERY bad thought in the book. Every bad or negative thought... I've had it. Every insecurity imaginable... I've had it. I don't say that with pride or self-pity, just with a vague sense of sadness and regret. I can't really think which one thought I am most ashamed of, but it would probably be something sexual. 5.) If you could change one thing in (personal and/or world) history, what would it be and why? Answer: I don't mean to sound like Miss America, but as far as world history goes, I would stop Hitler from rising to power and killing all those people. Just because it was such a terrible thing. As far as personal history goes... I'm not sure. There are a few girls from my past that I wish I would have made peace with while they were still in my life. I still do have a lot of regret about that. (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 11th, 2005
12:48 am	"My New Entry" (by christopher m. sirn) I bought two new books the other day. I had just finished reading the first two Harry Potter books (man them things are addictive, MUCH better than the movies) and I wanted something new to read so I got the following: THE RUNNING MAN by Stephen King- In the year 2025, the best men don’t run for president, they run for their lives… Ben Richards is out of work and out of luck. His eighteen-month-old daughter is sick, and neither Ben nor his wife can afford to take her to the doctor. For a man from the poor side of town with no cash and no hope, there's only one thing to do: become a contestant on one of the Network's Games, show where you can win more money than you've ever dreamed of— or die trying. Now Ben's going prime-time on the Networks highest-rated viewer-participation show. And he's about to become prey for the masses... This book is much different from the movie. LIVING WITH THE DEVIL: A Meditation on Good and Evil (National Bestseller)- I'm not exactly sure what this book is about yet, except that it's about Buddhist philosophy. It's also written by a former Buddhist monk. From what I've read on the back cover, it talks about how to become a good person, how to live with life's contradictions during the struggle to become good, how live your life as an existence imbued with purpose, freedom, and compassion- rather than habitual self-interest and fear. It sounds good. I always wonder if I'm taking the right path in life. I try to lead a responsible life, even if that means doing things that aren't of popular opinion: saving money instead of borrowing money and going to school, forgiving college students who sneer and look away when I smile at them, being a good employee, being true to myself, ect. But when I was driving home tonight, I noticed a bunch of people partying for Home Coming, getting drunk, having fun, stuff like that. I know things like drinking and having sex with drunk chicks are supposed to be bad things, but I can't help but wonder if I'll look back on my life when I'm ninety and wish that I had done those things. Like I've told myself that I should remain a virgin until I'm married because otherwise having sex feels like I'm taking advantage of someone. I don't want to take advantage of anyone. But there's also a feeling of emptiness, a feeling of missing out and worthlessness when I make the decision not to have sex. There certainly are a lot of contradictions in life, and I'll be interested to see what this book has to say. -chris Current Mood: discontent (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 4th, 2005
12:22 am	Okay, what the heck 1st: Fill out the following survey and post it in the new comments 2nd: Post this survey as an entry in your journal, and I'll fill it out about you. Your name: Where did we meet: Take a stab at my middle name: Do I believe in God: How long have you known me: What was your first impression of me upon meeting: Color of my eyes: Do I have any siblings: What's one of my favorite things to do: Do you remember one of the first things I said to you: What's my favorite type of music: What is the best feature about me: Am I shy or outgoing: Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules: What's your favorite memory of me: Any special talents: Would you consider me a friend: If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be: If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 27th, 2005
11:38 pm	Man, I'm bored "I have become convinced that I am just one of the many people taking up space on the giant couch of life." So begins one of the stories I've read on zoetrope.com, and I can relate to that line. I'm getting bored of working at Kroger, but it's a secure job, and I don't want to give that up. Man, I'm so bored I'm actually updating my livejournal. I lost a pair of jeans in the wash yesterday. Do you get that? The entire pair of jeans just disappeared. I have a couple of pairs to fall back on, but they both have gaping holes in them. *sigh* I've seen only a few movies this summer. I went to the movies and saw "Stealth" with my older brothers recently. I wasn't very good. When your movie is about a magical talking airplane, and the magical talking airplane is not the stupidest thing about the movie, then you need to stop making movies. "Willy Wonka" was cool, but I didn't see the resemblance to Michael Jackson. "Batman Begins" was pretty good. "Dark Water" was less scary than a clogged toilet. That's pretty much it... -chris (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 21st, 2005
11:59 pm	I FOUND MY SUPER NINTENDO! Yep, I found it. Actually, my older brother found it. He was cleaning out his room, and he found it in the back of his closet. I've been looking for that thing forever. But half of the games are missing! The one I was really looking for was my old Ninja Turtles game. I think I have an idea where they might be, though... Wow, that system brings back so many memories. I'm so glad I found it. -chris JOKE: You can't beat adult power. Unlimited television. Cake any time you want. Plus, you can go home tonight and screw around with that thermostat all you like. We're in charge now. Parents make the best employers. Because no matter how bad of a job you do they're stuck with you. I used to mow the lawn for 5 bucks on the weekend. I was the worst. Sometimes I wouldn't even turn the mower on. I'd just make the lines with the wheels and say I was done. And there was nothing they could do. My father couldn't go, "Listen son, you're not really cutting the mustard out there on that lawn. Now I know you've been in the family for about 15 years, but I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go." -Jerry Seinfeld Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 18th, 2005
1:07 am	Ho-hum I'm writing a new story about a vampire, but I'm writing it slowly. I want to makes sure it's good. *rolls eyes* I've written a couple pages, but I can't think of what to write next because nothing's good enough. Tomorrow's my day off. I'm looking forward to the concert in Oxford tomorrow, but it'll probably be too crowded. I'm sure all the college students will be there, since they're in town but they don't have to study for classes yet. But I like it sometimes when it's crowded. This might sound weird, but I kinda like hanging out with all those people I don't even know. Most Thursdays evenings I just walk back and forth through the crowd, eating ice cream and looking for people I know. After that, I usually take a break from the crowd and walk to King Library, where I walk (by myself) down all those sidewalks that go nowhere in particular. After that, I usually go back uptown and hang out until it's time to go home. I know it doesn't sound like much fun, but it's a chance to get out. Once these concerts are done, I'll probably start hanging out at Koffenya again on Thursday nights. I don't do much; I just write my stories, but I get a lot of work done! Well, that's it for now. Here are some more interesting song lyrics that I've found entertaining. I like the multi-syllable rhymes. The writer has a way of making words rhyme that you otherwise wouldn't think should rhyme. I have to warn you, they're quite disturbing, but they're not meant to be taken literally, by me or by anyone else. Until next time, adieu... -chris *** I'm the Devil, if ever there was such a thing / The results of much too many drugs what you're seeing I'm a mindfuck, completely dis-(gus)-ting / I'm (white), a human mutt, fuck a being I'm a dog / Fuck lambs, I'm silencing them all, I'm involved in murders forensic science couldn't solve / Giant set of balls too big to buy a set of drawers, might as well unzip my fly and let 'em fall to the floor /Each thought's completely warped I'm like a walkin, talkin, ouija board, speakin in tongues, I've never spoke this speech before / .. Hhem-delle-la, ennich-me-noughh-mi-niche-mick-norr .. / Have you ever experienced spirits in lyrics when you hear 'em 'til you scared to stare in into any mirrors when you near 'em? / Well if so, get ready for some shit yo / "Is this some kind of sick joke?" Shit no, motherfuckin schitzo / So disturbed, he just goes so berzerk he tiptoes / This verse was his urge to slit throats of just hoes / Just goes to shizzow you dizzon't, fizzuck with so-someone this disturbed, sa-sippin on si-zzurp / SO! - lock your doors, drop to the floors / Get your shotguns drawn - here comes another "Clockwork Orange" / Look at Bizarre; you really think he's right in his mind? / What the fuck you think's goin through it when he's writin his rhymes? -Eminem (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 14th, 2005
2:01 am	My mind is playing tricks on me So I was in the bathroom about ten minutes ago, giving myself my semi-annual haircut, when an idea came to me. Maybe when I start school I should study to become an editor at a publishing company. I know I love editing (I know, it's wierd) because I enjoy helping other writers get their material revised and hopefully published. I love helping people. But what would I have to major in? English? Writing? I can't make up my mind, it seems like I've wanted to major in everything, once upon a time. I wish there was someplace I could go, or someone I could talk to, that would help me figure this stuff out. Are there any websites out there? -Chris (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 25th, 2005
11:17 pm	Let me know what you think THREE NAMES YOU GO BY: 1. Sirn 2. Chris 3. Christopher THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD: 1. lil_browneyes 2. comedian 3. nothingtosmileabout THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: 1. My smile 2. My dimples 3. My eye/hair color THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: 1. My ears (I hurt them quite badly by listening to loud music) 2. My teeth 3. My bladder THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE: 1. Hungary 2. Yugoslavia 3. Transylvania (I think) THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: 1. Sex (unnatural sex acts, or simply opening myself up sexually) 2. Rejection 3. Inkblots (there must be something wrong with me, because when I look at inkblots I see EXTREMELY disturbing things that make me very uncomfortable) THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: 1. Quiet time 2. Meditation 3. Writing THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: 1. gray shirt 2. blue jeans 3. glasses THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS: 1. Eminem 2. Metallica 3. Either Dixie Chicks or Guns 'n Roses THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS: 1. Soldier (eminem) 2. Mr. Jones (counting crows) 3. Toss up between White America and Haily's Song (both by eminem) THREE FAVORITE MOVIES: 1. The Shining (Stephen King's remake, not the original) 2. Storm of the Century 3. Ace Ventura THREE FAVORITE TELEVISION PROGRAMMES: 1. WWF Raw (episodes 1997-99) 2. Seinfeld 3. 24 (first season) THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP: 1. romance (even though I believe it's not a wise thing to base a relationship on) 2. romance 3. romance THREE LITTLE KNOWN SECRETS: 1. I'm VERY insecure 2. I've injured my hearing quite badly, and one of my teeth has rotted out 3. I'm not as good of a person as people think I am. THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: 1. Day dreaming 2. Meditation 3. Writing THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: 1. Listen to music 2. Write a great story 3. Accomplish my financial goals THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING: 1. Writer 2. Social Worker (or counselor) 3. Anything with the FBI or detective work THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION: 1. Maine 2. Tuscany 3. Anywhere private THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE DON'T LIKE: 1. Duncan 2. Pam 3. ??? THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: 1. Help as many people as possible (especially those who are sad or depressed) 2. Write great stories 3. Contribute some good to the world THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY: 1. I love loud music 2. I like sex 3. Sometimes I like violence THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK: 1. I love to cuddle 2. I get heart broken easily 3. People say I'm very passive and soft-spoken THREE CELEB CRUSHES: 1. Hilary Duff 2. Kate Winslet 3. Martha Stewart (for some strange reason) (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 18th, 2005
12:30 am	Check this out Think about this... You may not realize it, but it's 100% true. *PLEASE READ THIS WHOLE POST* 1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you. 2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. 3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. 4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you. 5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep. 6. You mean the world to someone. 7. If not for you, someone may not be living. 8. You are special and unique. 9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you. 10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. 11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world. 12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it. 13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks. 14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know. 15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great. *** Current Mood: thoughtful (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 8th, 2005
1:48 am	Happy day I'm getting over my cold, thankfully. I'm SO happy it wasn't a long cold. I was off work today, and I'm off the day after tomorrow, too. I wonder if I'll see anyone I know uptown this Thursday at the concert... If not, I'll probably just spend the evening at lane library, or at Koffenya's. Hey Chrissy, it was nice seeing you at Walmart today! I'm sorry I couldn't stay long, but I'll probably see you again next time. *hugs* -chris :] O plunge your hands in water, plunge them in up to the wrist. Stare, stare in the basin and wonder what you missed. The glacier knocks in the cupboard the desert sighs in the bed and the crack in the tea cup opens a lane to the land of the dead. -Jonathan Vos Post Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 5th, 2005
8:09 pm	Sick again... Man, I'm sick as heck... I hate being sick. I usually don't work on Sundays, but I did today because one of the baggers wanted to take off for graduation. I didn't mind, but then I got a sore throat last night while I was writing and now I'm screwed. I try not to work on my stories when I'm sick... concentrating on writing while I'm under the weather always makes me more sick, for some reason. So I'm taking the night off from writing. Man, I miss it. You get into the routine of doing something you enjoy every night, then when you have to stop it's difficult to do. For those of you who care, I'm getting further along in my website. I plan to post my own fiction website within the next year or so, and it's going to be called Black Owl Online. I'm planning on having three short stories and one flash ficion piece on the website at all times, so if in the future a publisher wants to look at some of my past work then I can just give him the site address. I've finished the first story titled "Roger's Closet", and I'm pretty far along in the second story, which will be titled "Work of the Devil". I'm looking forward to seeing how it turns out. Well, I'm going to read my book now. It's another Dalai Lama book. I love the Dalai Lama. He has had such a huge impact on my life these past four years. It's nice to have something like that, you know? Something to comfort you when you need it. -chris Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
10:24 pm	I Remember I remember when Kroger used to be the top dog in our area. I remember how it drove the other stores out of business. Well, the new Walmart opened today, so it was pretty slow at Kroger. Six o'clock was supposed to be our rush hour, but today someone should've put a chalk outline around the whole front end. And all of my co-workers are in such denial it's not even funny. ("Oh, people will eventually come back to our store because we have better parking!") I kinda miss all the customers, so I feel like yesterday's news. They told me to go home early today because there was no need for me to be there, so they'll probably cut back my hours next week. I'm just gonna miss the customers. My store sucks, maybe I should start looking for a new job. Maybe Walmart, or Miami. We might stop by tomorrow, and I might pick up an application, but we'll see how things turn out with my schedule next week. I remember when it was Kroger driving everyone out of business. My, how times change... -chris yo (yo) yo (yo) yo (yo) Remember back in '94, like right before Ms. Everlast was Whitey Ford/ Before his heart attack had him on life support/ When 'House of Pain' was out of fame like someone doused the flame/ And they became destined to never jump around again Cause I remember all those years How it was when you were here I remember how it was, how it was when you were young Yesterday was so long ago (long ago) Kid Rock and Limp Bizkit came along now Don't nobody wanna hear your old ass sing no more. -Eminem Current Mood: amused (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
12:20 am	Can boldness be a virtue, too? I was just sitting here, trying to think of something to write, so I decided to write about something that's on my mind lately. In the Tao Te Ching it says, "Today, men have discarded compassion in order to be bold. This is the road to death." In most cases (and in my own humble experiences) I consider compassion and self-sacrifice to be the greatest virtues, but I also consider self-respect and boldness to be virtues as well. Now usually, it is noble to sacrifice one's own happiness so that someone else can be happy. But there are also exceptions to the rule. Like I wouldn't recommend that someone stay in an abusive relationship just to be "nice" to his or her spouse. There was one girl I used to work with, and I always found her in the break room crying because her boyfriend verbally abused her, bullied her, ect. I always asked her why she didn't break up with him, since she had plenty of guy friends who would stand up for her if her boyfriend turned violent. Why, she just responded, "Well, I don't want to hurt my boyfriend's feelings." I just think situations like that are so sad. I wouldn't recommend that anyone stay in a situation like that, and in this case, I would consider actions based on self-respect to be virtuous. Of course, I would also point out that one can be bold and engage in self-serving actions and yet still hold compassion in his or her heart. For an example, the girl I mentioned could leave her boyfriend because she has too much self-respect to stay in that kind of relationship, but she could also include feelings of concern and mercy for her mate. She could reflect that she's doing him no favors by allowing him to remain abusive her, and is in fact just perpetuating his negative behaviors even more. If she leaves him, then there's at least a small chance that he might take the time to reflect upon how he's conducting himself, and realize how his negative habits are ultimately self-destructive. This could bring a positive change in his life, and save him a lot of grief in the long-term. Now, whether or not the break up actually DOES have a positive affect of his life is besides the point. The point I'm making is that the girl can still hold compassionate intentions when doing something most people would perceive as self-serving and perhaps "mean" (such as breaking up with someone). So I think whether or not "boldness" is a virtue or not depends on the specific situation. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)